I went to take out the garbage and realized it was a nice summer night. Summer nights in Indiana are nice. For about 2 minutes, before the mosquitoes set in and you want to get back into the air conditioned indoors because the temperature seems to level out at Pretty Uncomfortably Warm. Those few moments, when it’s nice and comfortable, the sky acting like a blanket – it reminds me of when I was a kid, specifically two things: night games and sleeping out.
Probably a lot of people had this in their neighborhood. Usually for kids starting about age 10 or 11, at about dusk, after dinner, rounding up a bunch of other kids in the neighborhood to go play. It would start with kick the can or freeze tag, or POMP!, which I’ve never found anywhere else. POMP! is pretty straightforward – think of red-rover with only one person in the middle of a lawn. Everyone else is on one side. The person in the middle yells “POMP!” – everyone tries to run to the other side. The person in the middle TACKLES whoever he or she (usually he) can. Not touches, or even ‘two-belows’ (touches with two hands below the waist, I don’t know if that’s legal any more). Tackles, takes down. This made a lot of sense at the time. Whoever he tackles is in the middle with him – and they both yell “POMP!” and people try to run from the side they’re on to the new side. After POMP! it would head into Kick the Can, which everyone knows, and Follow the Judge to Court, which after a quick search reveals may have been a very Utah (and possibly Provo) thing. I’d love to be wrong. Follow the Judge to Court was a favorite for some reason – basically it’s hide and go seek but when you’re caught you follow the Judge to catch others, and try to take off while they aren’t looking. It goes on forever.
Usually with my younger sister and very good buddy back then. Not in a tent, just out on the lawn. Nights got cold quickly in Utah, being a desert – about 20-25 degree drop – so you usually needed that sleeping bag when 1 am approached. One night I woke up to some sniffling in my ear – a neighbor dog had gotten out and was waking us up. We shooed it away and it came back another time or two. After a refused to do anything, my sister got up and chased it away with a metal rake. I thought she was going to kill it. It got the message and didn’t come back the rest of the night. Other times I slept over at a buddy’s house and we usually didn’t last the night outside, we’d end up on the floor in the living room because it was too cold.
I’ve thrown in some songs below (for however long GrooveShark and those songs within it last) that act as a revisionist version of youthful summers back in Utahr. The first song by Owl City obviously wasn’t out then – but to me it’s like an aural manifestation of the summer feeling. If it’s not already, it’s a Disney emotio-exploitation device just waiting to happen. Just try to get it out of your head. Sensitive ears can skip the last two – the ‘Mode song (just think about the lyrics for TWO SECONDS) and the Beastie Boys (uh, it’s the Beastie Boys. That’s why we love ‘em.). See, I warned you, wasn’t that nice?
I’ve made a semi-goal (in my head, which is different than a REAL goal, which I write down in a place or two before I ignore it) to post more in the blog. Which brings up all this stuff about What Kind of Blog Is It and to Make Sure I’m Keeping On Point – things I’ve read about a blog writing.
I also want to avoid being the guy who has three followers (I don’t – I have 0, I think, lemme look – I can’t tell how many are subscribed it turns out I have 1. Thanks, dood! – but I’m pretty sure my mom checks it every six months to see if there are more pictures of my kids) and every couple of months throws a post up apologizing they weren’t posting more. It’s possible a buddy or sibling might ping me and say, “Hey, brotha, get ya some more pics of your kids on that blog!” and I would do a post like that, but I’m guessing these posts are more aimed at themselves…”Sorry, self, for not posting more often. I’ve let you down.” Self: “It’s ok.”
Anyway. Keeping consistent themes and patterns I suppose works for a blog that Has a Purpose besides being an outlet for the deep need I feel analyze every single thing I see, but this one doesn’t right now, so here’s my thinking: I will be wildly inconsistent and cover a nightmarish range of topics. I’ve seen this done well, so I think it’s all right. Example A is mightygodking.com, which seems to cover in equal parts comic books, reality TV, law and politics (both Canadian and American), and vulgarity (watch out ye of tender sensibilities, it uses the pottymouth language), but all in great depth. And many/most of the posts are from the one dude, MGK.
So that’s the goal. That’s what I’ll be trying to do, and do it more or less consistently, intentional ambiguity there.
When I left from work last night there was a tornado-level storm brewing. I didn’t know this – the south could rise up again and start marching in the streets this week and I’d only know if someone emailed me or it showed up on facebook (“sick of the south rising up again!!!! Txt me!”). By the time I got to the corner of old 231 and 26 it looked apocalyptic (see apocalyptic photos below). About two minutes later a light rain started. About 10 feet after that my umbrella folded back on itself and I ran for the nearest shelter, which was a movie theater. (Click here to read the rest of this entry)
So I have what I’ve seen called on medical internet sites “chronic bronchitis” – which means I thought I had my regular old bronchitis and got a prescription for an antibiotic – instead of feeling better the next day the apparently viral bronchitis said “What, did a wind pass by? Did a piece of paper hit me? Ha! Take your best shot, pretty boy!” And I’ve still got the crunky pipes. And it will be 2-8 more weeks or years, depending. My voice sounds more normal but I’m still congested, forgetful, and generally low.
After talking to a colleague I found that nasal crud could be contributing – and that by taking care of nasal stuff I could lessen the length or effect of the bronchitis. This colleague is in nursing, and appears to have experienced my symptoms, so I believe her. Her advice? An antihistamine (I get to be sleepy all the time) and a neti pot, or nasal water clearing treatment. My wife knew what it was and got me one at the store. And encourages me to do it. Probably because she can’t believe anyone does it.
A neti pot is a teapot you put saline and water in, then you stick it up your nose. Then, you simulate drowning. You try to get the water and saline solution to go from one nostril, through your nasal cavity, and out the other nostril. The result is you get a lot of crud out of there, you actually do clean out the sinus cavity. But, it does feel a lot like when I was a kid and not that good at keeping water out of my nose when I swam. When I accidentally swallow during the process (which process takes a while, because water takes it’s time getting through there) I feel the water go up in that place you only ever feel when you barf so hard it comes up through your nose and you burn the hell out of your sinus cavity with stomach acid (you’re welcome, for the pleasant memory!). Only with this it’s not a burn, it’s just…there. The end result is actually pretty calming (I guess near-death experiences can have that effect). I’ve also seen it called a nose bidet, as featured on the Oprah, so that’s a pleasant image.
The following isn’t me, nor as cheerfully strange as the images in the instructions that came with the system I bought, but you get the point:
Bronchitis is officially “when the inner walls that line the main air passageways of your lungs become infected and inflamed” ( Mayo, the clinic, not the Five Live radio host). Unofficially, it’s “what happens to Hans after a cold, at least once a year, and if not zapped by antibiotics immediately gets worse and maybe almost kills him via PNEUMONIA.” It’s one of the gifts of a crappy immune system, and it’s all upons right now. I’ve missed two days of work, and only went in to the doctor after the nice secretary for our office said after hearing my croaky voice, “You need to see a doctor.”
“Oh, yeah,” I said. “That’s a good idea. I’ll do that.” Another problem with The Bronchitis is it turns me into an idiot – I now call it Bronchitis Brain – I can’t finish thoughts and could spend hours just staring off into space. I imagine it’s something like being drunk, only instead of feeling good, it feels crappy. Can’t finish thoughts, winded after ambling around the apartment, etc. I know it’s bad when I WANT to read all the dialogue for the X-Men 2 video game, which reads something like this, every single time:
“You, villain! Are you working for Apocalypse?”
“Aha, X-Men!Yes, I am working for Apocalypse! It was not the best career decision I have made! But I will defeat you! Bwahahahaha!” Before each boss battle the villain really does that laugh, and because the text for interactions is written out, they all end with the “ha ha haahahahahaha!” I think they laugh. Even with Bronchitis Brain, I skip before the voice actor gets to the laugh.
Anyway. I did get antibiotics and will be heading back into work to hack and cough my way into clearer lungs, trying not to infect everyone there. My voice is lower by about an octave, and though my wife pretends not to notice I think it is much cooler sounding (a former colleague, I do get this about every year, called it ‘sexier’). Although, like my father, who’s voice is this low usually and goes subtonal when he gets a cold, it’s harder to hear and understand.
Update: Bronchitis also means I get winded at 10 am from the little physical movement involved in working and spend the rest of the day sort of awkwardly smiling/grimacing and nodding at people pretending I understand what they’re talking about while my brain rapidly comes up with the next thing to say. And I often say, pointing at my head, “Bronchitis Brain.”
